Bush's War Talk With Primary School Kids

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Billy". "And what is your question, Billy?" "I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?" A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve" "And what is your question, Steve?" "I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got! more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early? And Fifth, what happened to Billy?" Read more!

Temptations

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,974.25 in cash. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed saying, "I am so sorry.. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under the bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, Why do you keep the empty cans in the box?" Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box to remind myself not to do it again." Hillary was shocked, but thought to herself, "I am very disappointed and saddened, but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess three times is not that bad considering the number of years we have been together..." They hugged and made their peace. A little while later, Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Bill answered. "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash." Read more!

Bush Considering

Just hours after the release of al Qaeda leader Usama bin Laden's latest video message inviting all Americans to convert to Islam, U.S. President George said he would "seriously consider the offer, because it sure would simplify the war in Iraq." "If I convert to Islam and order all of our troops to do the same," said Mr. Bush, "we can stay in Iraq indefinitely, drop the restrictive rules of engagement, save a lot of money by using cheap, unguided bombs, clear neighborhoods flat out, blow up mosques with impunity and still go to heaven — not to mention that I'd get more favorable coverage from the U.S. news media." The president added that he might convert to Islam just to "find out what it's like to be a man who wears a dress and a bonnet and dyes his hair like a girl." Read more!